We first met in 2007.
We rendezvoused in 2010.
And on a Friday in early September I heard that familiar phrase, “Michael, I am sorry, but…..” It is back.
With my first diagnosis of male breast cancer I gave my power to the doctors, the drug – Tamoxifen, and fear.
The second discovery of cancer brought radiation, a more potent drug, and an inward journey to reclaim what I had lost – my truth.
Now, new lessons and paths are waiting to be unveiled.
The cancer cells were found in two abnormal lymph nodes located in my chest cavity. A discovery from a search for clues of a persistent cough.
I’ve done the blood work, had the PET scan, and will meet with my oncologist – a routine engraved in my memory.
As I wait, I run through the gamut of emotions so intricately tied to this disease. My mind easily drifts to those dark, shadowy thoughts, Where are these cells? Where have they set up residence?
In these moments I rely on what I have learned in my journey with cancer – Breathe.
I breathe and just be with this uncertainty.
I breathe and allow stillness to caress every fiber of my being.
I breathe and grant trust the power to overshadow my fear.
I breathe and gather the inner strength to face what lies before me.
I breathe in gratitude for the healing souls who grace my life.
I breathe and be in the moment – for that is all I have.
I breathe and take in life.
My third dance with cancer has begun. Its rhythm and movements all too familiar. I’ve been here before. But this time, I choose to lead in this dance with cancer by living fearlessly.
They say, the third time’s a charm. I’m counting on it.
In January 2007, Michael was diagnosed with male breast cancer. At this time he gave full authority to his doctors, the prescribed drug, and fear. His focus was on that magical five-year mark when one is considered to be in remission. For Michael, reaching that five-year mark was when he believed he would no longer have to acknowledge cancer’s presence.
But in November 2010, a recurrence of the cancer blind-sided Michael. His therapy was now more intense with radiation and a more potent drug. Struggling with the drug’s intense and powerful
side effects, Michael desperately searched for a better way to heal.
Exploring the alternative practices of yoga, Reiki, acupuncture, and energy medicine in combination with a focus on how his thoughts, actions, and beliefs affected his ability to heal, a new path to heal unfolded. Immersing himself in the energy of each therapy and learning from various authors and their books, Michael discovered the power we possess to heal.
Stopping the life-draining drug he embarked on a healing path of his own realizing that he had to heal his inner most scars in order to heal the cancer. In 2012 Michael began to write about his passage and in June 2014 his book, Healing Within: My Journey with Breast Cancer was published.
In September 2015, Michael was given the news that his cancer was back, stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.
Michael will continue his writing and speaking to various audiences raising awareness of male breast cancer and sharing his new journey. Michael is honored to be part of the Male Breast Cancer Coalition and an upcoming documentary titled, Men Have Breasts Too. He is also the host of Healing Journeys with Michael Kovarik on dreamvisions7radio.com.
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