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We first met in 2007.

We rendezvoused in 2010.

And on a Friday in early September I heard that familiar phrase, “Michael, I am sorry, but…..” It is back.

With my first diagnosis of male breast cancer I gave my power to the doctors, the drug – Tamoxifen, and fear.

The second discovery of cancer brought radiation, a more potent drug, and an inward journey to reclaim what I had lost – my truth.

Now, new lessons and paths are waiting to be unveiled.

The cancer cells were found in two abnormal lymph nodes located in my chest cavity. A discovery from a search for clues of a persistent cough.

I’ve done the blood work, had the PET scan, and will meet with my oncologist – a routine engraved in my memory.

As I wait, I run through the gamut of emotions so intricately tied to this disease. My mind easily drifts to those dark, shadowy thoughts, Where are these cells? Where have they set up residence?

Fear emerges.

In these moments I rely on what I have learned in my journey with cancer – Breathe.

I breathe and just be with this uncertainty.
I breathe and allow stillness to caress every fiber of my being.
I breathe and grant trust the power to overshadow my fear.
I breathe and gather the inner strength to face what lies before me.
I breathe in gratitude for the healing souls who grace my life.
I breathe and be in the moment – for that is all I have.
I breathe and take in life.

My third dance with cancer has begun. Its rhythm and movements all too familiar. I’ve been here before. But this time, I choose to lead in this dance with cancer by living fearlessly.

They say, the third time’s a charm. I’m counting on it.

3 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Lynn / September 15, 2015 at 8:01 pm /Reply

    Michael, you will lead this next dance with the devil! You are stronger and more aware of what needs to be done! Be strong my friend, be courageous and always know there are many who support you at all times. Xxoo Lynn

  2. Avatar
    Joyce Bard / September 17, 2015 at 5:09 pm /Reply

    Michael , So sorry to hear this News, but your a strong man with many friends to help you threw this journey agian. At least this time you don’t have the stress of a Job to worry about. Like you said Breathe !!! sending healing thoughts your way. If you need anything you have a friend in Colonie.

  3. Avatar
    Judy / October 1, 2015 at 8:11 am /Reply

    Hang in there Michael, thankfully this was caught early enough and you have the “tools” to help you get through this journey of healing……………many good thoughts and prayers are coming your way my dear friend!

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